My Testimony

Being a Christ follower isn’t about saying a prayer and thinking life will be easy. It is all about turning your entire life over to Christ and living only for Him, through good as well as difficult times. It’s not about anything that any individual can do; It is all about what He did!


I was born into a family where God was the center of our lives and regularly attended Sunday school, church, AWANA, youth group, and summer camps. In sixth grade, at a Power Team rally, God used the testimonies and feats of strength to demonstrate how much I needed him. I asked Him to come into my heart and was baptized the next weekend. However, I had no idea what it really meant to be a Christian. I thought my life would be trouble-free and perfect. I was so wrong!

It was that same year that I got involved in the biggest struggle of my life: lust and pornography. Satan would use this stronghold for almost eleven years to keep me from understanding what it truly meant to be a Christian. Even though I would try to live for Christ, there was that dirty secret in my life from which I could not break free. Throughout high school, I lived a hypocritical life, putting on a Christian façade while not really being committed to Christ. I attended Christian college, thinking things would be different there. Through Bible classes, chapel, and the Christian community, I hoped to grow in my faith. However, I wasn’t ready to trust God with my life and foolishly thought that I was in control. Looking around, I realized many students were as hypocritical as I was, proclaiming Christ but living a selfish and worldly life. Attempting to be genuine, I rebelled. I lived only for myself, egocentric and self-serving, displaying no evidence of Christlikeness. Looking back, I have to question if I was truly a Christian.

I transferred to a larger Christian college, thinking a change of location would help. Knowing I needed Christ, but seeking Him in my own prideful way, I continued the Christian façade. On the outside, I appeared to be a solid Christ follower, but on the inside, I was living for myself, still struggling with lust and using the rigors of studying as a crutch and an excuse for why I didn’t spend time with God.

God placed pivotal people in my life who exemplified Christ in all they did. Most of the time, I felt weird and uncomfortable being around them because they were living undignified lives for Christ. I wanted what they had but wasn’t ready to give up my vane self-ownership or to place God above my plans of attending medical school.

I don’t know why -- maybe it was God’s leading -- but in February 2010, I decided to pray for a full month that God would humble me and make Himself evident to me. He did -- In huge ways. God used that time of constant prayer to show me that He was in control. Jeremiah 29:11-13 became my life verse.

Interestingly, I began to receive rejection letters from the medical schools I had worked so hard for four years to attend. My life and future, which I had so perfectly planned, seemed to be crumbling around me. I felt alone and worthless. For the next couple of months, I went through life without direction, confused about my future, trying to leave it up to God, but falling back into lust when I took control. Then, I would repent and restore my relationship with Christ.

Through a friend, I was introduced to the Forge, a Christian leadership training program, and completely believed God was directing me to attend. I applied and was accepted, not knowing what an immediate impact it would have on my life. In preparation for the program -- and especially through the fundraising process -- God showed me amazing things about Himself and about me, particularly that my view of Him had been very small, which caused me to hold on to control. But now I am in awe of how great and mighty and sovereign He is. So great, in fact, that I am not ashamed of the Gospel, of who I am, or of Whose I am. He is my God, Lord, Savior, Best Friend, Strength, Encouragement...and the list goes on. I finally realize that it is not about me and what I can do to be a Christian, but its ALL about the sacrifice Jesus made for me on the cross.

Summer of 2010 has been the most pivotal time in my life. I now can truly say that I am a reborn, growing Christ follower, living fully for Him. I do not fear or worry because my life and future are in His hands. Through His grace and mercy, I have been set free from my sins and my struggle with lust and worry and hypocrisy. My daily prayer and my hope for life is to live, though His grace, as a reflection of Jesus every day.

It’s not about me. It’s all about Him!!!