Mother-Daughter Conference

This weekend, I worked a mother-daughter conference.  Needless to say, it was probably one of the most nerve-racking weekends ever. Serving around 55 women and their daughters was very eye-opening.  It was amazing to see how God worked through this weekend.  Part of the conference is that we don't allow the mother's to serve any of their children food or drinks, the staff pour all the drinks.  The look on the mother's faces when they didn't have to clean up or even take their plates, or pour their kids drinks was awesome.  The were allowed to sit back and enjoy the time with their daughters and think only about that!  75% of the mothers confessed that they had never prayed with their daughter alone until Friday night.  God began breaking those "traditions" immediately.  Then, through other events, mothers and daughters had the opportunity to spend quality time together.  One of the best parts of the weekend was seeing the mothers and daughters go ziplining together.  I was working the zip line and the daughters sometimes had to encourage their mothers!  What a change of role.  It was a very beautiful thing though to see the cohesion happening. 

Serving them was absolutely amazing though.  Even though I was tired and sometimes not excited about being on my feet, putting myself aside to make their weekend run smoothly was awesome.  God showed me a lot about himself through that as well.  He gives strength to the tired, rest to the weary, and the list goes on!  Serving others is so much more rewarding than serving yourself any day of the week.  It's a great opportunity to put what I am learning into practice!

Recent Lessons

This past week, God showed me so much about who I am, and why I have acted the way I have for years.  One of the first questions in the Forge was, "Who are you and what are you doing here?"  That one question is going to be running through my mind for the rest of my life most likely.  However, this week, God definitely revealed to me some of that answer.

Our Forge class started our 18 hours of classes last week, which ranged from inductive Bible study, to theology, to practical life skills, to Leadership theory, to Sanctus (a class about corporate and individual holiness).  I have been praying and thinking about why God has me here in The Forge, a program I didn't know existed five months ago.  During our leadership theory class, our teacher emphasized the fact that leadership was about followership.  In order to be a "good," Christian leader, we need to learn how to follow Christ, have Him be our foundation, and from that to serve others.  This idea was counter-intuitive to me.  However, I felt as though God was telling me that the reason I was here was to learn how to be a follower and servant of others.  What that looks like, I have no idea, but I'm positive that in the future, it will be revealed to me.

In addition, over the past series of weeks, Matt, the Forge director, has been guiding me with questions about my life that I cannot answer, causing me to think about why I do things.  It has probably been one of the most challenging times in my life; it actually caused me to breakdown in front of him!  Well on Friday, our Sanctus teacher, who is a marriage and family counselor, talked to us about our identity and our foundation for living.  My foundation is the basis for my identity.  If my foundation is shaky or crumbles, my identity will go with it, which would not be good.  When I began to put the conversations Matt and I were having, with the concept of foundations, I didn't like what I was seeing.  My foundation was ego-centric, self-centered, and very proud and Christ, being my identity, so I thought, was built on a very sinful foundation.  Everything that I was doing was because, deep down at the core, it was benefitting me in one way or another.  So what am I going to do now?  Well, the first thing is that I understand what my foundation is.  That's huge because without knowing that, I cannot be transformed.  Next, Jesus has to become my foundation and my identity has to be found through Him.  I don't know how that is going to happen yet, but God's got a plan for me and my life!!!  It's not about me; It's all about Him!!

Weight-Bearing Cables

So this past week, our Forge class had high ropes challenge course training and certification.  It was the longest three days I've pretty much had yet, trying to cram 20 hours of training and testing into those days.  However, there was a lot to learn about this opportunity to become high ropes certified.  The first two days of the training involved a ton of new terminology as well as participating in the elements, the course itself.  We had to self-belay up a 35 foot pole, traverse thirty yards thirty feet above the ground on wires no bigger than your finger and learn what every piece of equipment was used and where it was used.  Throughout this entire process, our trust and mental determinance was constantly tested.

For me, there was a lot of learning that took place personally.  Being up 35 feet in the air only attached by a rope took a lot of courage and trust.  I have been on a high ropes course before, however, this was the first time that I had to actually transfer myself from cable to cable and to sit into the harness, trusting that it would hold me.  It is certified to hold at minimum 5000 pounds, however, trusting it to hold 200 is much different.  I find this correlates perfectly with my relationship with Christ.  He wants me to put my full trust in Him, yet when I start to walk, the possibilities of failing and falling are evident all around me.  It almost stops me clear in my tracks, causing me not to step into the blessings and opportunities that Jesus has for me.  If I would only look up and see that the cable and clasps (Jesus) are holding me securely and wouldn't look at the ground 35 feet below me, I would see that I am safe.  Just like when Peter took those steps on the water toward Jesus, when His eyes were on Him, he had no reason to worry, but when he looked down and saw the raging seas, he began to sink.

So after this week of thinking and training, a recurring idea keeps rearing its head.  Am I going to look up and trust Christ, keeping my eyes, heart, and mind focused on Him, or am I going to look down and trust in myself?

God's Word

In Church this morning, our pastor stated that the Bible was just a book until partnered with the work of the Holy Spirit to change our lives.  That statement brought another viewpoint to the Scripture that I had never thought about.  It revealed a lot about the work of the Holy Spirit.  I'd like some feedback if ya'll would give it.

Life and Hypocrisy

This weekend, I began reading The Prodigal God by Timothy Keller.  In this book, Keller challenges the traditional view of the prodigal son found in Luke 15.  Instead of just being about the one son who squandered his fathers fortune, it is rather a parable about both sons; both of which had the opportunity to receive the fathers invitation and blessing.  The first son demanded that his father give him his share of the estate so that he could live his life on his own terms.  While his father was still living, this was one of the most degrading blows a son could deal to his father and would essentially ruin the family name within the community.  But his loving father gave him the opportunity to squander his inheritance.  Once the son ran out of money, he remembered that his father's servants ate better than him so he decided that he would prepare a huge apology and return to his father to work as a servant.  While he was still a distance off, his father ran to him and accepted him back into the family, reinstating him and cutting him back into the now diminished inheritance.  The father did not let him give his apology but demanded that the fattened calf be killed and that the town should celebrate the return of his son.

On the other hand, the elder son, now whose inheritance has been cut again by the reinstatement of his brother, comes to see that a party is being thrown for his brother.  Yet he will not go in to the party because he feels cheated.  He stayed and worked for years for his father and, because of this, feels entitled to the praise of his father and to receive all the blessings.  He kept all his fathers laws and never disobeyed or did anything against his father, but when it came down to why he did it, it was out of selfishness.  He didn't want to be with his father either, he only wanted the inheritance - shown by his rejection of his father's invitation to the party.

Conclusion: Even though both of the sons rejected the father in their own way - the younger by his open rejection and his humiliation of his family as well as his open sinning, and the older by his self-righteousness or "hidden" sinning - the younger accepted the fathers invitation to blessing, but the older thought he was entitled and therefore rejected his father.

After reading this, I had to ask myself if I was really different from the older son.  Do my actions state that I only want God for his blessings or because I truly love Him and desire Him above all else?  As I reflect upon my life, I have the opportunity to see where I am a hypocrite and where I am genuine.  Through prayer, discipleship and reading God's word, I pray that the Holy Spirit will begin to change those areas of hypocrisy in my life and show me what a genuine love of Him looks like!!!

Sheparding and following

In my reading yesterday, I came to Psalm 23; a very common Bible passage for many people who have grown up in the church like myself.  When I was reading it, God brought a very huge problem to my attention.  For a very long time, I had been reading over scripture without really understanding and digging into what God's word actually meant and how it should/could be applied to my life.  The very first verse of this passage really stood out to me and as I probed, I learned so much about myself and whose I am.  It says, "The Lord is my shepard, I shall not want."  Just reading over this in the past, I have missed so much.  First, it is a declaration about whose I am.  I am the Lord's, and I am making bold that statement.  So what is Lordship?  Being a lord means one has authority, control, and/or powers over others; a master, chief or ruler.  So if I am making that declaration about Jesus Christ, I am commiting to him all authority, control, and power over who I am and what I do.  I am essentially giving Him complete reign over my life.  As a growing Christian and future leader, am I daily submitting to His Lordship and everything that entails, or am I living for myself as a hypocrite?

Secondly, acknowledging that He is my shepard, means that I am a sheep.  Sheep know their master's voice and trust him in all situations.  So am I actively listening to hear Jesus' voice and do I trust him in all situations?  These are two very difficult questions.  One can only know another's voice by listening to it and spending a long time getting to know that person so they can differentiate between all the other voices in the world.  Having so many "voices" calling out for my attention, it is very difficult to concentrate on the most important voice: Jesus'.  Just like a shepard takes care of his sheep and protects them from all the evils that lurk, especially in the darkness, Jesus promises to protect, care for, and provide for His sheep!!  What a joy comes from knowing and living in this hope and promise.

Patience and Opportunity

On Thursday, I prayed that God would give me the opportunity to grow my patience.  He did so in great ways.  That day, my mom and I were going to leave Mississippi on the way to Texas at 1:30.  However, when we went to pack up the car to leave, we found some laundry soap had spilled on the backseat floor mat.  Because I am a very punctual person, that spill threw me off schedule and I became a little frustrated.  As I took the mat into the bathroom to wash it, my mom had the availability to talk to the woman at the front desk of our hotel.  After cleaning the mat, I joined the conversation to find out that the woman behind the desk was a Christian and was in the process of raising support for a school that teaches children with challenges.  It was such an awesome opportuinty to talk about God and His providence and to share and encourage this lady, as I am currently in the process of raising support for The Forge and fully understand what she is encountering.  Because of the spill in my car, God allowed me the opportunity to experience a lesson in patience and looking for God's blessings in every circumstance.  He works in ways that we cannot understand sometimes, and this lesson taught me to open my eyes to seeing opportunities around me!!